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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25667308">How do you want me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howling_Harpy/pseuds/Howling_Harpy'>Howling_Harpy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Band of Brothers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Period Typical Attitudes, Seduction</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:01:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,529</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25667308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howling_Harpy/pseuds/Howling_Harpy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Speirs' approach to seduction is very blunt and leaves no room for any doubts. And here Carwood thought they were just friends.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carwood Lipton/Ronald Speirs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How do you want me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic exists solely for the purpose of writing Ron as someone who definitely doesn't beat around the bush. It's the era of careful gestures and sercrecy, but then there's Ron, and the thought is just hilarious to me.</p>
<p>Please enjoy!</p>
<p>*</p>
<p><b>Disclaimer:</b> This is a piece of fiction based on the HBO drama series and the actors' portrayals in it. This has nothing to do with any real person represented in the series, this is not for profit, and means no disrespect.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Easy Company had been ordered on the move towards Bavaria, Carwood could confidently say that he and Captain Speirs were friends. He could say it with both pride and wonder, as Speirs seemed like the type of a person who was there with the mentality of “do the job and don’t make friends”, and so the fact that Carwood was friendly with him felt like a special privilege. </p>
<p>It wasn’t that Speirs didn’t have friends either, he was just very professional about it. He had several buddies among the officers, buddies who were ready to sing his praises, but still Carwood felt unique even among them. Speirs had noticed him when he was still an enlisted man. Speirs had heard of a First Sergeant Lipton and been impressed, then met said First Sergeant and made conversation, recognized him openly and then…</p>
<p>Carwood remembered that convent with such vivid clarity that he suspected he would remember it for the rest of his life. Speirs had stood before him, so close and with such a spark in his eyes that Carwood had to wonder how anyone would ever be afraid of this man. He had smiled, made those quips about Carwood and his supposed reputation – a reputation Carwood had no idea he had – and then smiled. Just smiled, smiled so bright and sweet that Carwood had felt warm down to his bones immediately, and then turned and left.</p>
<p>That was one hell of a first impression – unless of course you counted their meeting in combat as the first impression. Carwood supposed it had been one of some sort, but he hadn’t been thinking then, not really, just carrying out a mission, and the moment in the convent had been when Carwood Lipton and Ronald Speirs had met for the first time as simply two men.</p>
<p>So Carwood enjoyed a somewhat unique position as Speirs’ friend. With Speirs, Carwood made the transition into being an officer and he found his feet fast. He did miss the men, but the mission took priority and even though it was sad to leave others behind, here in front of him were Speirs and the other officers who welcomed him. Major Winters had set an example of kindness, welcoming and mission-oriented, and others followed his lead, leaving useless bravado and stark rank behind and accepting Carwood easily among them.</p>
<p>Easy Company was to make a long trip from the border of France to the Eastern Germany, as they were apparently needed there to counter the last desperate efforts of the German Army. They made the journey by train, circling by several neighbouring countries as the Allied air force had destroyed German railways almost completely. It was a week-long journey full of amazing views and a lot of free time for all of them. </p>
<p>Carwood spent the most of it with the other officers in their own private car. They chatted, played cards and drank, passing the time however they could. Carwood stuck close to Speirs as it felt like he was his anchor to what he knew and vouched for him, and in return Carwood let Speirs lean on him. </p>
<p>They spent one evening and most of the night playing poker and drinking. The train was taking them through the countryside of Holland, endless green fields and forests flashing by behind the windows. Carwood sat with Speirs, Shames, Welsh, Nixon and Winters and played round after round of poker while glasses of scotch and liquor and vodka were emptied and filled again. Carwood didn’t drink, and neither did Major Winters, but still they were a part of the crowd. Winters seemed to temper down Nixon somewhat, and Carwood felt like a similar companion to Speirs even though he didn’t over-indulge like Nixon did.</p>
<p>Still, Carwood found himself taking Speirs to his bunk three in the morning. They swayed through the narrow corridors of the train cars, Carwood supporting Speirs with an arm around his shoulders and half-carrying the drunk man towards the compartment he slept in. Travel was slow but they were both in good spirits, perhaps a bit tired but still finding more humour than anything else in the situation. Carwood noted that he and Speirs were the same height even though initially he had felt like Speirs was taller than him, and their matching height made the journey easier. They joked and laughed, their heads occasionally resting against each other as they walked, and under their feet the train thundered forward.</p>
<p>Finally they stopped in front of the compartment where Speirs’ bunk was, and Carwood let his friend lean against the doorframe. </p>
<p>Having arrived marked an end of their moment, and their previous joking and laughter died down. Speirs reached for the handle of the sliding door and held it but didn’t open it yet. He turned back to Carwood, his laughter tempering down into a soft smile. </p>
<p>Neither of them moved. Speirs just leaned on the wall, and Carwood stood in front of him, completely relaxed in the friendly silence they shared. Carwood took a moment to look at Speirs and once again considered how different a person he was to his reputation like this, flushed and tipsy and laid-back, smiling back at him with his green eyes warm and sparkling.  </p>
<p>“Would you like to go to bed with me?” Speirs asked. His voice was clear, not slurring even a bit.</p>
<p>It took a moment for what Speirs had said to sink in properly. For Carwood the moment felt like it went on forever, crawled by like a tick in tar, and all the while the situation crystallized to him in painful detail.</p>
<p>“What?” was all that he managed out. Nothing registered, and all he could do was ask and hope something that made sense would come up.</p>
<p>No such luck. Speirs spoke again, just as clear and coherent as before: “I’m asking if you would like to go to bed with me, to have sex.”</p>
<p>“I… I… What?”</p>
<p>Speirs shrugged like he didn’t know what to add. “It’s a simple suggestion.”</p>
<p>Carwood didn’t know what to say. He didn’t really believe he had been just asked that, and the words still rang in his head without fully registering. This couldn’t be happening, not to him, and not with Speirs. Something in the bottom of his stomach flipped over and over, and he had no idea what to do or say.</p>
<p>“But you are married,” he managed to say, like that simple thing could erase the whole situation, or perhaps call out a weird practical joke.</p>
<p>But instead, Speirs gave him a confused frown. “No, I’m not. Who said that to you?”</p>
<p>“I – Some of the guys. They talk,” Carwood answered, his thoughts reeling even more.</p>
<p>Speirs’ shoulders jumped with a short, voiceless laugh. “Ah, and talk they do, apparently. You shouldn’t listen to them every time, though.”</p>
<p>For a moment they were quiet, and the time crawled by painfully slowly. Speirs stared at Carwood, his gaze all too warm, and gave him a kind smile. He raised a hand and touched his cheek, gently caressing it in a way Carwood had never thought would happen between men, and said: “It’s okay if you don’t have the answer right now. You can get back to me later, if you feel like it. I’ll be waiting for you. Good night, Carwood.”</p>
<p>And with that, Speirs slipped into his compartment, closed the door to Carwood’s face and left him alone in the corridor, shocked and confused. </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>“You really like Speirs, huh?”</p>
<p>Carwood nearly choked on his drink. He snorted some out of his nose and coughed out the rest, some probably ending back in the bottle. “What?” he managed while wiping port wine from his chin.</p>
<p>Luz looked at the mess he had made with raised brows but didn’t comment, just swung to sit on the seat opposite of Carwood with a drink of his own. “Jeez, take it easy there, Lip! It’s just me. I said, you really like Speirs, don’t you.”</p>
<p>“What makes you say that?” Carwood asked, immediately on guard and tried to hide his alarm by attempting to wipe his shirt clean. They had more than ten hours of travel on the rails ahead of them, and he had thought he might get some peace and quiet in the last car, but everyone was restless and wandering about so that was proving impossible.</p>
<p>Luz just shrugged. “Am I wrong? You’re friends, right? You’re so good friends that it’s weird seeing you without him. Did you have an argument?”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Carwood said, relaxing somewhat. He knew he was hyperaware of how he looked to others now that he had apparently been sending some weird vibes to Speirs, but so far things with everyone else were normal. Luz especially was very perceptive, and if he was treating Carwood normally, there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. “I think so, yeah. I’m taking some distance.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Sorry to hear that,” Luz said. “But maybe that’s good, you know? I mean, sometimes it looks like you’re making a dog out of a wolf, if you know what I mean.” He grinned and nudged Carwood’s knee with his own, and even though it was a joke on Speirs’ expense and not his, Carwood felt uneasy about it.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t think I do,” he said but accompanied his reply with a smile, allowing Luz his joke even if he wanted to drop the subject. He especially didn’t feel like he had put a leash on a wolf; if he was anything to Speirs’ wolf, it was Red Riding-Hood.</p>
<p>Thinking about Speirs brought another thing to mind, and on impulse he asked Luz: “Hey… Did you hear something about Captain Speirs having a wife?”</p>
<p>“Huh? Oh, yeah! The story is wild but true!” Luz said, immediately perking up at a chance to spread gossip. “Yeah, he married a G I Jane of England, no truer match for Bloody, I’m sure. He even has a kid on the way! But why the sudden interest now, Lip? You’ve never cared for the gossip mill before.”</p>
<p>Carwood shrugged and tried to act casual. “I was just… Thinking, I guess. Say, where did you hear that?”</p>
<p>“A buddy of mine in Supplies told me. A couple of their officers are friends with Speirs’ friends, and they were talking about it.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Okay.”</p>
<p>Luz frowned and looked Carwood with slight confusion. “Aren’t you friends with him though? Why don’t you ask him yourself?”</p>
<p>Carwood grimaced and raised the wine bottle to his lips again. “Friends might be a bit of a strong word.”</p>
<p><i>Or not strong enough</i>, he thought privately and promptly changed the subject.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>It was really a genius move, the direct proposition, Carwood realized when the week went by. A total surprise attack, an ambush of sorts, and now Speirs had retreated to a safe distance where he just calmly observed the situation. </p>
<p>Carwood realized he could do nothing. He could report it, but what would he even say and who would believe him? No one, that’s who. Speirs’ incredibly bold move was actually the best route for him to go about it, one that left no room for any doubts or misinterpretations, and was bizarrely also the safest option for himself.</p>
<p>So bold. Carwood hated it a little bit, in a way that pooled in his gut like soda pop, bubbling and sugary sweet and about to foam over. A peculiar sort of hate.</p>
<p>Not only was it the safest way for Speirs to approach him, but it also left Carwood with two crystal clear reply choices: Either to show up or not. Say yes or say no. </p>
<p>He couldn’t even imagine saying yes. How could he? He was just a regular, decent guy from West Virginia, a good son and a responsible brother, and on top of that he was married to a decent woman. How could have Speirs even asked him what he had, knowing all that? Carwood couldn’t understand why, and neither could he understand how calmly Speirs was waiting for his answer.</p>
<p>Everything went by as normal. They were still the CO and the working XO, and looking at how they interacted in broad daylight it was as if nothing had changed.</p>
<p>Carwood still had his competent, brave, admirable leader and friend, who was acting exactly like himself. Nothing had changed in Speirs or his behaviour, nothing about it indicated that he wanted to… </p>
<p>Wanted to… Had asked to… With Carwood… </p>
<p>Carwood couldn’t even imagine saying yes. </p>
<p>He couldn’t imagine why he found himself at the doorstep of the apartment Speirs had claimed for himself. There was nothing special about the timing, just another two-day stop on their way through Germany where they had taken over an apartment building for the battalion. Speirs had taken a small one-bedroom apartment entirely for himself, but even that wasn’t that unusual. Maybe Carwood was just exhausted, tired of wondering and questioning and running circles around that direct proposition. Maybe he just wanted that easy friendship back, and the only way to get that was through direct confrontation, like things with Speirs often went.</p>
<p>Carwood didn’t make any conscious decision or have a real plan when he made his way to Speirs’ door. It felt more like his feet had decided that that was where they were going, and Carwood could do nothing but go along.</p>
<p>He stood in front of the door for several, terrifying and undecisive seconds before he knocked.</p>
<p>“Who is it?” Speirs called from somewhere inside.</p>
<p>For a second Carwood thought of running. “It’s me,” he answered when the thought of retreating back to uncertainty got too much.</p>
<p>The door swung open remarkably fast. They stood in the doorway for a second, Carwood uncertain and Ron looking mildly surprised. </p>
<p>“Lieutenant,” Speirs said as a greeting. “What brings you here?”</p>
<p>“I’d… Like to come in, if that’s alright,” Carwood replied. Speirs – or Ron, as he guessed he should start calling him in a situation like this – raised his brows but otherwise nothing else changed in his demeanour. Perhaps he looked a little hopeful in a reserved way, but Carwood couldn’t be sure.</p>
<p>“Sure,” Ron allowed, his voice way too casual for the charge that Carwood sensed in the air.</p>
<p>Stepping over the threshold felt like a point of no return, and Carwood felt his heart starting to race when the door closed behind him. There was a light on in the room, but the entryway was dark. He had expected Ron to lead him further inside, but instead he just stood there, having taken barely a step back and remaining way too close to Carwood who was starting to feel unnerved.</p>
<p>Then Ron stepped even closer, suddenly crowding Carwood who jumped, and cupped his face with his hand.</p>
<p>“Here?!” stumbled out of Carwood’s mouth. He felt a pang of disappointed he hadn’t expected. He had expected better treatment of his lovers from Ron, and the realization that he had had expectations at all only added to his unease and confusion.</p>
<p>Ron frowned. “No, not here,” he answered, “I just want to look at you a bit, now that we’re alone.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Carwood said, almost sighing in relief, “okay.”</p>
<p>Ron narrowed his eyes at him and a small, amused smile rose to his face even though he looked slightly annoyed at the implications at the same time, as if he had been underestimated. “What did you expect me to do? Throw you against the nearest wall, just open my fly and have my way with you before kicking you out?” he asked.</p>
<p>Carwood blushed awkwardly, both at Ron’s directness as well as his own nerves. “Do I look like I have experience?” he threw back defensively.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Ron said, genuinely thoughtful, “I’ve met guys who are nervous every time.”</p>
<p>Something about that was both reassuring and unnerving to Carwood, and he lowered his gaze.</p>
<p>Ron didn’t let him dwell in it, but raised his hand to softly bump his chin back up. “That’s not my style. Not with anyone, and definitely not with you.” He said it neutrally, like a simple fact that was no different from professional matters or decent everyday things, but it was that sincerity that made it into a line of seduction so powerful that Carwood couldn’t think of a reply, and all the while Ron’s hand kept him meeting his eyes. </p>
<p>A moment of silence passed as they stood in the entryway. Ron inspected him and Carwood let him, but finally Ron tapped his fingers against his cheek, brushed his cheek in a manner no one ever had, and then turned to walk further into the apartment. He beckoned Carwood to follow, and he had no other choice but to follow. He didn’t have to decide, his feet carried him just like they had taken him to the door.</p>
<p>Ron led him through a kitchen and a dining room straight to the bedroom, and Carwood could only follow. Ron went and sat on an unmade double bed that had his jacket hanging on one of the bedposts and his Thompson on the nightstand. His pack was sitting on the floor nearby, no doubt filled with anything valuable he had managed to scrape up. </p>
<p>It was bold to go straight to bed, but then again they both knew why they were here, and the inevitability of that made Carwood burn with both nerves and something else. A part of him wanted to turn and escape, and the rest thrummed with something he couldn’t name.</p>
<p>Ron looked up. “Come, join me,” he said, patting the bed next to him. “Nothing’s going to happen. We can just talk.” </p>
<p>Carwood believed him. Reassured, his legs moved again, and he approached. He couldn’t decide where exactly to sit even though he had sat on numerous beds by Ron already. It was just that before it had all been different, a thing unspoken between them and maintaining that solid space between them. Now where he chose to sit would carry a meaning. </p>
<p>Ron watched him as he decided, and finally Carwood sat by him, leaving a little less than a seat between them. It was a decent amount of distance, but still they were close and Carwood couldn’t bring himself to turn to Ron right away. </p>
<p>“You are so nervous,” Ron observed. The words alone could have been understood as a critical notion, but his voice was gentle. </p>
<p>“Why me?” Carwood demanded on impulse, wanting to take any sort of initiative.</p>
<p>Ron tilted his head. “Why you… what?”</p>
<p>“Why’d you ask me here? How did you decide to pick me among all the others?” It was a question that had been weighing on him for the past weeks. He had felt marked, a dark flipside to the uniqueness he had felt previously about Ron’s friendship, and he was dying to know what about him had given Ron the idea.</p>
<p>Ron replied so easily that he made it sound simple and obvious: “Because I like you. I’m not someone who stands back and wonders about it when I want something, and when I felt something for you I pursued it.”</p>
<p>It felt good to hear that Ron liked him. It was sweet, even if sort of out of place for a man like Captain Speirs. Still, it didn’t quite answer what Carwood was wondering about. “I mean… How did you know I’d show up?”</p>
<p>“Ah,” Ron said as if understanding something. “I didn’t. I had a feeling, but I wasn’t sure. And you sure kept me guessing too.” </p>
<p>Getting an answer, any answer, was relieving. “That’s… I suppose that’s what I’m asking. What made you think… that? About me?”</p>
<p>This time Ron didn’t answer right away. He considered Carwood for a minute, and when Carwood glanced at him he saw a soft look in his green eyes. Soft, but when they looked at each other longer, there appeared a wicked gleam in it.</p>
<p>Ron reached for his jacket and took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “Here. Smoke with me.” </p>
<p>Carwood agreed, but when the cigarettes were lit and Ron took a long inhale, he got a sudden feeling as if he had lit a fuse. </p>
<p>“You’re so shy,” Ron observed again, sounding painfully sweet, endeared almost. “Don’t worry, there’s not a look to it, at least not as obvious as you fear. I’ve seen how you look at me and how you behave around me. You’re not like that with anyone else, just me. You let me touch you and you lean into it. It’s in a dozen tiny things, and they made me hopeful.”</p>
<p>Carwood didn’t know what to say, and he felt his face heating up. He hadn’t been aware of any of that, he had just been friendly with Ron. He had liked Ron from the get-go, admired him and been so reassured by his competence. Flattered by his friendliness, charmed by his wit and mystery, and cheered up by his company. </p>
<p>“As for why I like you, the list is long,” Ron continued, taking a drag from his cigarette and then smirking at Carwood. “Would you like to hear some of it? I bet no one’s told things like that to you before.”</p>
<p>“Like what?”</p>
<p>Ron smiled slily. “Guys flirt and charm and fawn over girls because that’s the so-called proper order. But have you ever had anyone flirt and fawn over you?”</p>
<p>“Uh…” Carwood was once again at loss for words. He had a feeling he was being toyed with, and the cigarette-fuse slowly burning away in his fingers didn’t help the feeling.</p>
<p>“You’re a good soldier and a great friend. I rely on you a great deal and you’ve always been worthy of my trust,” Ron said, smoked for a few puffs and smiled in that way of his that had a way to unnerve people. There was an open intent in his eyes that reflected the glow of the cigarette. “You are easy on the eye too. I haven’t been able to decide which I like more, your strong shoulders and arms or your beautiful eyes and sweet smile.”</p>
<p>Carwood had to collect himself for a moment, but what made it easier was how he felt like he was being made fun of. “Oh come on, Speirs,” he refused bluntly, calling out the obvious flattery.</p>
<p>“Ron. Call me Ron when we’re alone,” Ron corrected calmly, the cigarette once again finding its way to his lips. </p>
<p>Carwood watched as he smoked and noticed that the cigarette was half gone. Now that he noticed that the feeling of a timer was back, and seeing it half done made something in his stomach flip. There was an ashtray on the nightstand that Carwood used, but Ron shook the ashes on the floor, indifferent to the owners of the apartment. </p>
<p>“Ron,” Carwood said and watched a pleased look spread on his face, “the truth is… The truth is, I don’t know why I came, and I don’t… know what to do.”</p>
<p>Ron took a drag of smoke again, his eyes intent and confident in a way that made Carwood feel weak in the knees. He realized that Ron wasn’t persuading him to stay, he was already sure of that, but he was simply giving Carwood all the time he wanted to regain his footing.</p>
<p>“Carwood, you’re married. This is not your first time,” Speirs noted.</p>
<p>Carwood had to admit that much, so he shrugged. “Yes, but this is different.”</p>
<p>“How?” Ron countered.</p>
<p>“How?” Carwood repeated, disbelieving. “Of course this is different, I’m telling you I’ve never done anything with a man! How could I have? It’s not right, and it’s not like something you just come across – “</p>
<p>“It’s not different at all,” Ron interrupted, suddenly intense. “It’s the same, simply a different flavour. I’ll show you the way. Don’t be afraid. I can see that you want it, even when you don’t know what it is exactly.”</p>
<p>Carwood was mute. He could only sit there and stare and bear the feeling of being so seen by Ron, a man who was not only challenging him but charging right through every defence he had. </p>
<p>“I want it too,” Ron said, very quietly, smoke puffing from his lips. “I want it so badly, and with only you. It's going to be so special with you, I just know it will. For weeks now I’ve been dreaming of showing you how good it all can be.”</p>
<p>Carwood felt his mouth drying out. There was a fizzing heat in his belly, and it had spread everywhere in his body. His limbs were weak and trembling, he felt like shivering like he was cold even though he was anything but, and the heat was almost burning him at this point. Anticipation wasn’t an entirely new feeling to him, but never had he sat this close to the one promising both heaven and hell to him.  </p>
<p>“Time,” Ron said, the cigarette burning out in his hand, almost burning his fingers. He let go of the filter and let it fall on the floor, where he crushed it under his boot.</p>
<p>Carwood watched it fall and then be stomped out, and when he raised his gaze, Ron was staring at him with both his hands free. His own cigarette was almost gone as well, and he saw no more reason to cling on to it. He let it fall to the floor too and absentmindedly squashed it with the heel of his boot.</p>
<p>Ron scooped closer then, not really sitting up but sliding across the bed. He didn’t press against Carwood, but their knees knocked and Carwood glanced down to the point of contact on reflex, just for a second, and when he looked up again Ron’s hands flew up and cupped his face and the back of his neck. And just like that, he was captured. </p>
<p>Feeling Ron’s hands on his face was a shock, a small jolt went through Carwood’s body and he couldn’t hold in a gasp. Ron’s palm on his jaw and fingers against his cheek was such an intimate gesture, something that had never existed between them or any man in his life before. Carwood shivered. He couldn’t remember when he had last time been touched so tenderly. Perhaps never quite like this.</p>
<p>Ron’s touch was curious. The palm on Carwood’s jaw moved along its line and his fingers pet his cheek, and then Ron turned his hand and it were his knuckles that ran across the side of his face. Ron’s other hand toyed with small hairs in the back of Carwood’s neck before running its fingers through his hair, messing it up in slow, deliberate combing motions.</p>
<p>Carwood shivered more as Ron’s hands ghosted along his face, holding and petting him while the man himself leaned towards him, slowly inching closer with his head tilted and eyes peering into his. </p>
<p>Carwood knew that Ron was about to kiss him. It was coming and it was inevitable, and Ron was just toying with him by touching him like no one else ever had while he slowly leaned closer like a cat about to catch a bird. </p>
<p>Carwood felt his heart beating fast and hard and he shifted on his place a bit, feeling oddly electrified but also bound, though by what he wasn’t sure. Ron’s hold was so gentle, he wasn’t controlling him in the least or really even holding him, but still Carwood couldn’t bring himself to move. He could hardly bear to look at Ron and his shameless, intense stare that seemed to inspect and memorize his every move, every expression that shifted across his face and every detail about him he could see this close. He felt very warm, and the heat was flushing his skin all over.</p>
<p>Ron lay his forehead against Carwood’s. The tip of his nose brushed along the bridge of Carwood’s before pressing against his cheek, and Carwood could feel every slow, steady breath from Ron’s mouth against his lips. </p>
<p>He didn’t want to lick his lips, but anticipation made him restless and he just couldn’t help himself. Ron was so close, so warm and gentle and touching him in a way that brought him back to life, and his lips were just there, slightly open to let air through and Carwood could almost taste him already. He had trouble keeping his eyes open, but when he remembered to look he saw Ron looking back, his eyes dark and knowing, almost amused. </p>
<p>Ron held him still, palms against his jawline and fingers splayed over his cheeks, an idle thumb brushing across his lower lip.</p>
<p>He squeezed his eyes shut and hoped that something, anything would finally happen and that torturous anticipation would finally dissolve. “Kiss me,” he breathed between them. </p>
<p>Ron didn’t reply, only did. The distance between them was only half a breath, and right when Carwood asked for it, Ron closed his lips over his.</p>
<p>Carwood shuddered. He couldn’t ignore who was kissing him. He could taste the cigarette Ron had smoked a minute ago and smell his shower-fresh scent when he kissed the breath out of him. If his caresses had been feather-light and explorative, his kiss was the opposite: it was a firm, hungry claim, wet and deep from the beginning and a perfect fit for Ron Speirs. It was exactly how Carwood had imagined Ron would kiss, and it felt even better than he could have dreamed. </p>
<p>When Ron broke the kiss, it took Carwood’s dazed mind a second to notice and react. When he opened his eyes, he found that Ron had not gone far, just leaned back enough to properly look at Carwood who blinked back at him.</p>
<p>“I love your mouth,” Ron said quietly, his thumb once again finding its way to the object of his admiration. For a moment his eyes focused on Carwood’s parted mouth as well like he wanted to savour it with his every sense, and when he looked up again Carwood felt scourged by his eyes. “Put your hands on me.”</p>
<p>With that command Carwood realized that he hadn’t touched Ron other than where he was touched. He had kept his hands on his knees, both squeezed into fists like he could hang to his decency although he was kissing Ron back at least as eagerly as he was kissed. He unfurled his hands consciously and shifted on the bed, turning slightly more towards Ron although it meant pulling his leg on the bed and between them.</p>
<p>He didn’t know how to touch Ron, or more like what to do with his hands in general, and after letting them to hover over his sides for an uncertain moment he grasped Ron’s shirt. </p>
<p>It was nothing really, but Ron hummed, a pleased rumble like the minimal contact Carwood dared to provide was the best thing he had ever felt. He certainly acted like it, because suddenly his hands weren’t just holding and caressing Carwood’s face, but he caught him in his arms and went in for another kiss. </p>
<p>The kiss was just as all-consuming as the precious one, and Carwood didn’t even notice when he was laid on the bed, Ron more on top of him than next to him. He also didn’t care, as long as the kiss continued, so sweet and wet and touching something in him that had gone neglected for far too long. He wasn’t sure if it had ever been acknowledged, Ron certainly did rile him up like it was his first time, all hot and squirming and aimless.</p>
<p>Then Ron’s hands pushed between them and started to undo his buttons. That gave Carwood a start, the sudden realization that things were going somewhere, but he didn’t fight it. He was wearing his uniform jacket as well as his shirt so he wasn’t going to end up naked that easily, and the thought brought along a confusing wave of impatience. </p>
<p>He wanted to be naked, suddenly. He wanted Ron to be naked too, so that they could… He couldn’t finish the thought. It was too strange and new, but he did want it. He flushed hot and his face went red with just how badly he wanted it.</p>
<p>Ron kissed him, a kiss after kiss as he undid his shirt and threw it open, then pushed his undershirt almost up to Carwood’s neck so he could put his hands on his chest and belly. The same gentleness that Ron had showed to his face was now all over him, petting and stroking and fondling whatever happened on his path, and Carwood couldn’t kiss anymore. He needed air, and he needed to move, but he couldn’t decide where since there was no escape. Not that he wanted to escape. He broke the seal of their lips and turned his head to the size so he could take a deep gasp of air and squirmed under Ron’s hands.</p>
<p>Ron didn’t seem to mind the kiss being interrupted, he simply moved his mouth elsewhere. He seemed determined to not give Carwood a moment of peace as he nuzzled into his neck and gave it a lick, then trailed a line of kisses down to his shoulder and up again, searching for the spots that made Carwood whine out loud and nibbled on those. </p>
<p>His hands never stopped either, but kept tracing Carwood’s bones and then his muscles, mapping him out entirely with long strokes of his warm, calloused palms. There wasn’t a spot he didn’t touch, it seemed, and it was as maddeningly gentle as it was thorough. He pet him like something precious, his hands sliding over his belly and smoothing up his sides, caressing and coaxing. Carwood didn’t know when he had started moaning into the bed covers, and still all he could do was to keep his own hands fisted into Ron’s shirt.</p>
<p>If he had had any reserves about how the night would turn out, he didn’t anymore. His arousal burned in his gut, insistent and torturous, and he felt its heat in his feverish thoughts and all the way down to his toes and everywhere in between. He couldn’t’ stand it. “Ron… More…”</p>
<p>For a second Ron took a hold of his neck with his teeth. Not biting or gnawing, just a burst of carnal pleasure that Carwood was shocked he could read from the gesture. </p>
<p>“Yes,” Ron breathed into his ear, kissed him, and then moved off him. </p>
<p>Ron sat up on his knees and in a flurry of clothes got rid of his shirt that ended up flying somewhere on the floor. Then Carwood was treated to perhaps the most erotic sight of his life, that was Ron on his knees, thighs spread and undoing his belt.</p>
<p>He swallowed. There was a smirk on Ron’s face that told him that the man knew exactly what he was doing as he undid the belt with a soft clink, pulled its tail free from the brass buckle and then unbuttoned his fly. </p>
<p>Carwood couldn’t bear to watch, so he let himself drop back on the bed and stared into the ceiling. This was happening, he thought and tried to see the situation clearly with its full gravity. He didn’t know what use that would be, perhaps some leftover shame demanded that of him, but his body felt overheated and it throbbed, he could hear the rush of his own blood and Ron discarding his trousers on the floor, and the thought of completely naked Ron there mere inches from him in bed was more than enough to make him forget about everything else. Carwood shook off his jacket and his shirts, then reached down with his shaky hands and started to undo his own trousers. He stared up as he did so, fingers both numb and urgent, and thought wildly what would happen soon. </p>
<p>He didn’t know. <i>Have my way with you</i> was a phrase Ron had said jokingly earlier, but still it seemed to fit. Carwood was hardly doing anything more than hanging on for the ride, and Ron was leading them forward. Carwood frowned. He hadn’t heard Ron take off his boots. Had he been barefoot this entire time and he hadn’t noticed? What exactly had he been focusing on?</p>
<p>He jolted in surprise when Ron took a hold of his calf and lifted his leg up on the bed. To his shock Carwood realized that Ron was undoing his boots for him instead of leaving it to him.</p>
<p>“Are you in a hurry?” he asked, surprised by the huskiness of his own voice.</p>
<p>Ron hummed a laugh and continued to pull at the laces. “No, we have all night. But this is not the part I want to take slow.” He gave the boot a hard yank and tossed it away, then reached for Carwood’s other leg.</p>
<p>Carwood swallowed. “All night, huh?”</p>
<p>Ron laughed again, and this time Carwood could heard the toothy grin in it. “Oh yes. You didn’t think you’d get rid of me easily? Oh, the things I will do to you…” </p>
<p>Carwood swallowed again, his throat too dry and his blood rushing too fast to make a reply. His other boot hit the floor too, and then his undone trousers were pulled off him along with his underwear. He let them go but felt blood rushing up to his face as his bare skin hit the sheets, and he could practically feel Ron’s hungry gaze on his body that felt suddenly very defenceless.</p>
<p>Ron sneaked over him again, leaning close and placing a soft kiss on Carwood’s cheek. “Don’t worry, they are nice things. You are going to love this.”</p>
<p>They tangled up together, no more barriers between them anymore, just the uncovered desire. There was a thrill in their bare bodies sliding together like that, fitting together with shocking ease and so tightly that every move they made caused a bolt of heat that rushed across the skin and sank into your gut. Carwood had half the mind to worry about the rest of the company housed in the building and its thin walls, but only when Ron stopped simply grinding against him and took his cock in hand instead. </p>
<p>Carwood let out a shuddering moan and grasped at Ron. On reflex he bucked up into his hold and once he had started, he couldn’t stop. </p>
<p>“That’s it, come on,” Ron murmured in a heated voice, and something inside Carwood snapped.</p>
<p>He couldn’t remember what had held him back before, but he was suddenly seized by a sudden need to hold Ron, to pull him closer and feel all of him. He ran his hands all over the lithe body over him, stroking over his sides and wrapping his arms around him, palms smoothing over Ron’s strong back and feeling the muscles working there. He couldn’t get enough of it and squeezed Ron in his arms, pulled him closer and stroked over every inch of bare skin he could reach while thrusting into his tight hold.</p>
<p>Above him, Ron chewed on his lip and hummed in deep pleasure under the caress. His hips hunched down and he worked them faster, grinding against Carwood’s thigh in fluid movements, and his hand worked over the other man with a grasp that slowly became a bit firmer and a bit faster.</p>
<p>“Ron… Ron…” Carwood gasped, tried to ask for something that he wanted, that he craved and needed, but it felt like he couldn’t take enough air in, and whatever he managed to inhale came out as a moan or a whine anyway.</p>
<p>But Ron seemed to understand anyway, his body shifting above him and slotting them together better until they were a perfect fit. They were both slick with sweat and breathing hard, but Ron’s hand was steady and certain when he grasped them both. </p>
<p>Carwood scratched his nails over Ron’s back and groaned at the sudden intimacy that made him shiver and pull Ron closer. </p>
<p>They fell into a rhythm. It was surprisingly languid, not a frenzy of passion but a deep, deliberate roll of slowly building shameless pleasure. It wasn’t just the rhythm of their hips either, but their whole bodies that seemed to be in a conversation. Ron was using his right hand to pull them off, but the left travelled up and down of Carwood’s body, fingers petting his side and tracing the hip bone, his palm slipping lower to cop a greedy feel of his backside before following the muscular line of his thigh. His hair tickled Carwood’s chin when he kissed his neck, then gripped him from behind the knee and pulled his leg up to wrap around his waist.</p>
<p>It was all too much. Not the heavy heat of winding arousal or the sound of skin against skin, but the sheer intimacy of being made love to. When he was close, Carwood wrapped his arms around Ron’s shoulders and pulled him to him, burying his face into his neck. Ron pressed his face into his hair and seemingly understanding worked his rough palm and nimble fingers with the same, steady pace but with eager urgency. With a delicious swipe of Ron’s thumb, Carwood came undone under him.</p>
<p>He came with an almost suffering moan, long and keen and trembling with no end in sight when all he could do was shake and spill over in Ron’s hand and over their bellies. His open mouth gasped against Ron’s shoulder as he held onto him while his hips flexed up on pure instinct. It felt cleansing in a way as the climax seemed to wipe his mind clear and undid knots of tension inside him that he hadn’t known were there. He keened still when he was floating down from his high and relaxed against the bed.</p>
<p>“Gorgeous thing,” Ron whispered into his hair, lips wet against his ear, and it was the most natural thing to let his hand slip from Ron’s shoulder and trace it down his chest, his belly and his navel and wrap his fingers around his cock. </p>
<p>Ron let out a low, urgent moan that turned into a gasp and took a hold of the sheets on both sides of Carwood with both hands. For a beautiful second Carwood just watched him shake, then put his free hand on the middle of his chest and gently rolled Ron over to his back. Ron went easily, rolling to show belly and opening his arms for Carwood to follow, who did so and ended up on his side right next to him. </p>
<p>His own recently peaked pleasure was still warming him, and he approached pleasuring Ron with affection and curiosity while closely watching him. Ron was close, Carwood could see and feel it, so he simply did what he liked and it seemed to work. Ron didn’t grip the sheets for long, but leaned against Carwood and took his face in his hands again, pulling him into a kiss. He came like that, holding on to him, squirming in his hold and kissing the breath out of him.</p>
<p>They broke apart softly, but Carwood couldn’t resist the urge to place one more small kiss on Ron’s mouth before leaning fully away.</p>
<p>Ron held him for a moment and his eyes stayed closed as he basked in the afterglow, taking deep breaths and absentmindedly petting Carwood’s cheek. </p>
<p>Carwood lay down next to him and got comfortable. He reached over to grab a corner of the sheet to wipe his hand clean, and next to him Ron did the same without opening his eyes. </p>
<p>It was warm in the room and even warmer in the bed with another body so close, so even with sweat drying on his skin, Carwood didn’t feel cold. </p>
<p>Ron stretched like a cat and turned to face him. His face was still flushed, his hair tussled and his lips red from being kissed. He was lying very close, just a few inches between their faces, and he smiled.</p>
<p>“There,” he said quietly, his voice deep and content. “There was nothing to be nervous about, was there?” </p>
<p>His voice was so thick with affection that Carwood found it hard to look straight at him or reply, but Ron didn’t seem to be expecting a response. He simply reached over and brushed a strand of hair off Carwood’s forehead, touched his cheek and let his hand wander downwards until it settled on the bed, the back of it resting against Carwood’s chest.</p>
<p>“Was it good for you?” Ron asked after a moment.</p>
<p>Carwood had to smile at that. What a silly question. It must have been obvious how he was feeling, he thought he had communicated it pretty vocally after all. The thought threatened to make him laugh out loud, so he pressed his lips together and swallowed the sound. </p>
<p>“It was nothing like I imagined,” he answered.</p>
<p>Ron grinned at him, gleeful and wicked at the same time, and pulled him into his arms to be kissed.</p>
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